This is an excerpt from my upcoming book, a 30-day devotional for those living with Chronic Illness.
“Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright.”
PSALM 20:6-8
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When I was first diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus, my mind was filled with questions. How would this change my life? What if I couldn’t take care of my two young daughters? What would happen to my career? What symptoms could I expect? One word encapsulated these questions – FEAR! While these questions were justified, the crippling fear that accompanied them was not. As a Christ-follower, I had a promise that I would not battle this new disease on my own. God would be with me, and I could trust him with the details.
You may have similar fears. You may want guarantees of what the future holds: a steady bank account, the promise that a chronic illness won’t infringe on your future, or a cure. This passage from Psalm 20 reflects the security available to those who trust in God above the things we can see and feel – like chariots and horses. Our “chariots and horses” could be trying to control things on our own, seeking promises from our doctors, or pushing ourselves to do things our bodies are telling us not to do. I love that in this Psalm, David compares two mighty battle necessities to faith in God. When I picture a chariot pulled by strong horses racing toward the enemy, I can only imagine how such an advancing sight could make lesser combatants want to retreat. David says his trust in God is even greater than the roar of wheels and hooves. As we battle the fear of the unknown state of our health from day-to-day, we have a mighty warrior in our Heavenly Father. He will be with us! Because of the sacrifice of Jesus, God’s only son, on the cross, our sins are forgiven, and we have a sure future, an eternal future. God has a plan, and you can take comfort in it, knowing that he is in control and loves you more than you can even comprehend. He is not surprised by your diagnosis!
Now, let me be clear: this battle is not easy. Trusting God was not something I accomplished on my own. Letting go of fear is a process, one that I continue to wrestle with today. It requires prayer and spending time in God’s Word, guided by His Holy Spirit. When Jesus was nearing the end of his life, he comforted his frightened disciples by telling them that his Father would send a Helper, the Holy Spirit. (John 14:26) Spending time with God every day supplies the grace needed for that day to live in joy instead of fear, even when we don’t know what the next day holds. Over the last 30 years, living with Lupus and Fibromyalgia, I have found comfort, strength, and the courage to fight the fear of the unknown only through those two things. It’s also important to surround yourself with family and friends who support you, but without prayer and time in God’s Word, I would not have made it through. My prayer is that you will find that same peace and strength to fight fear and live a joyful life.
Journal Prompts
What things are causing you to feel fearful today?
What have you been trying, in your own power, to combat these feelings?
How does knowing that God is in control give you peace today?